Category Archives: Relationships

Dating Recap Part 2

Questions for guys

1. Are you pursing biblical manhood? (1 Tim 3:1-7)

2. Are you sexually pure? ( Col 3:5)

3. Are you overlooking good, godly women?

4. Do you enjoy being with her? (Ecc 9:9)

5. Is she modest? (1 Tim 2:9-10)

6. Will she follow your leadership? (Eph 5:22)

7. Do you see her as God’s daughter? (Gal 4: 1-7)

8. Are you a man-whore? (1 Tim 3:2) Are you a one woman man? Or are you constantly looking for/flirting with/Facebook stalking every “Christian” girl you find attractive? Do you rack through the crop of  every college or young adult ministry?

Questions for girls

1.  Are you pursuing biblical womanhood? (Titus 2:5)

2. Do you want to join him in his pursuits? (Eph 5: 22-23)

3. Does he remain strong and gospel-centered in tough times? ( 2 Tim 1:7)

4. Does he take responsibility?

5. Are you dating him in order to fill a void or cover an insecurity instead of turning to Jesus for identity in the gospel?

6. Are you pursuing personal strength in your relationship with Christ? (Proverbs 31:17)

7. Are you actively engaging in God’s mission, or just waiting around for “Mr. Right?” (Proverbs 31:20)

8. How does he treat you? (1 Tim 3:3)

9. How valuable are you to him? (Proverbs 31:10)



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Dating Recap Part 1

Disclaimer: The following post is geared toward those who were present during the dating discussion on Sunday, April 18.

Last night we discussed what a gospel-centered dating relationship looks like. Several people have asked me to post my 29 points… Yes, I had 29 points. Here are the first 12. I’ll post the rest throughout the week.

12 principles for dating

1. Jesus is your first relationship. If you do not get this point the rest will be applied in vain. This means knowing that your life was bought by his blood and your life is hidden in him. Because of this we seek what is of God. (Col 3:1-4)

2. Date under the provision of a Christian family. If you 1) do not have a Christian family, 2) have parents with a poor marriage (divorce, abuse, no communication, etc.), or 3) have parents that are out of state… seek discipleship and counsel from men and women within Grace Community Church. (Eph 5:31)

3. Date within community. Allow the believers God has placed in your life help process through your choices. (Acts 2: 42-47)

4. Look at what God has put in front of you. Are you overlooking good, godly men or women? (Acts 17:26)

5. Only pursue someone who you are attracted to. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually, socially, etc. (Gen 2:23)

6. Date someone who is your friend. Get to know the person on friendship level before you know them on a romantic level.

7. Don’t have sex… of any form. (1 Cor 6:18)

8. Guys initiate, girls respond. Do not ask her to ask her friend if she likes you.

9. Girls, don’t be easy. Pursue being a Titus 2:5 woman.

10. Girls, don’t buy a “fixer-upper”. You cannot and will not change him. You wont become his girlfriend. You’ll become his mom. Look for a man who is pursuing being a 1 Timothy 3:1-7 man.

11. Going on a date does not mean you are dating. It is OK to go out and talk over coffee!

12. Understand that you may have the gift of singleness for this season of your life. So use your time, energy, and money to further God’s kingdom in the ways hes calling you to right now. (1 Cor 7:7)



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Sexy, can I? :: Dating

The Bible never addresses dating. Does this mean that dating is unbiblical? Does it mean we have the freedom to date however or whoever we want? Or should we dismiss dating altogether and retreat to a hyper-conservative model of courtship?

Curiously our culture has influenced and shaped our views on relationship and marriage far more then the Bible has. It is tough to find a magazine without “7 steps to please your man” or “4 ways to drive her wild” littered on the cover. It seems that almost every magazine on the rack (with the exception of Home and Garden) is geared towards guiding men and women through their relational and sexual experiences. As a result our culture is filled with a hook-up and break-up mentality. The style of dating is no more then a series of short-term relationships with selfish intent.

How do we have gospel-centered relationships? We need to be smart with how we go about pursing dating relationships. This means seeking a biblical framework.

On Sunday we’ll be discussing what it looks like to be in a gospel-centered relationship. We’ll examine the 3 context in which Christians are prone to date in- religion, irreligion, or gospel-centered.

Here are the questions VIers asked regarding dating. Note: these are actual, word-for-word questions submitted by students in VI.

  • How do I know if I’m pursuing a girl for the right reasons?
  • How do I know if the “issues” I see in someone are good reasons to hesitate or just somethings I should overlook?
  • How do I know if someone is “the one?”
  • How do I know if a guy is trustworthy?
  • What are somethings couples can do while dating to build their relationship and glorify God through it?
  • Should a girl ever pursue a guy?
  • Can I date someone who isn’t a Christian?


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Sexy, Can I?

This Sunday VI will be starting up a new series on sexuality and relationships. The first week we’ll be looking into what the Bible says about sexuality. During the following weeks we’ll be discussing dating and marriage.  Below are questions that young adults in VI have asked relating to sexuality.

  • How do I battle sexual temptation?

  • How do I keep my mind from wandering while walking on campus?
  • Is oral sex biblical?

  • What do I do about guilt from sexual sin?
  • Is masturbation wrong if it keeps me from sexually sinning with someone else?

  • What do I do about R-rated movies and music with lustful lyrics? What is line between engaging culture and protecting myself?
  • What is considered “being modest” with the way I dress?

  • Do male and females have sexual desires and temptations differ?

And my personal favorite…

  • How do I bring sexy back?

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