Dating Recap Part 2

Questions for guys

1. Are you pursing biblical manhood? (1 Tim 3:1-7)

2. Are you sexually pure? ( Col 3:5)

3. Are you overlooking good, godly women?

4. Do you enjoy being with her? (Ecc 9:9)

5. Is she modest? (1 Tim 2:9-10)

6. Will she follow your leadership? (Eph 5:22)

7. Do you see her as God’s daughter? (Gal 4: 1-7)

8. Are you a man-whore? (1 Tim 3:2) Are you a one woman man? Or are you constantly looking for/flirting with/Facebook stalking every “Christian” girl you find attractive? Do you rack through the crop of  every college or young adult ministry?

Questions for girls

1.  Are you pursuing biblical womanhood? (Titus 2:5)

2. Do you want to join him in his pursuits? (Eph 5: 22-23)

3. Does he remain strong and gospel-centered in tough times? ( 2 Tim 1:7)

4. Does he take responsibility?

5. Are you dating him in order to fill a void or cover an insecurity instead of turning to Jesus for identity in the gospel?

6. Are you pursuing personal strength in your relationship with Christ? (Proverbs 31:17)

7. Are you actively engaging in God’s mission, or just waiting around for “Mr. Right?” (Proverbs 31:20)

8. How does he treat you? (1 Tim 3:3)

9. How valuable are you to him? (Proverbs 31:10)



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Dating Recap Part 1

Disclaimer: The following post is geared toward those who were present during the dating discussion on Sunday, April 18.

Last night we discussed what a gospel-centered dating relationship looks like. Several people have asked me to post my 29 points… Yes, I had 29 points. Here are the first 12. I’ll post the rest throughout the week.

12 principles for dating

1. Jesus is your first relationship. If you do not get this point the rest will be applied in vain. This means knowing that your life was bought by his blood and your life is hidden in him. Because of this we seek what is of God. (Col 3:1-4)

2. Date under the provision of a Christian family. If you 1) do not have a Christian family, 2) have parents with a poor marriage (divorce, abuse, no communication, etc.), or 3) have parents that are out of state… seek discipleship and counsel from men and women within Grace Community Church. (Eph 5:31)

3. Date within community. Allow the believers God has placed in your life help process through your choices. (Acts 2: 42-47)

4. Look at what God has put in front of you. Are you overlooking good, godly men or women? (Acts 17:26)

5. Only pursue someone who you are attracted to. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually, socially, etc. (Gen 2:23)

6. Date someone who is your friend. Get to know the person on friendship level before you know them on a romantic level.

7. Don’t have sex… of any form. (1 Cor 6:18)

8. Guys initiate, girls respond. Do not ask her to ask her friend if she likes you.

9. Girls, don’t be easy. Pursue being a Titus 2:5 woman.

10. Girls, don’t buy a “fixer-upper”. You cannot and will not change him. You wont become his girlfriend. You’ll become his mom. Look for a man who is pursuing being a 1 Timothy 3:1-7 man.

11. Going on a date does not mean you are dating. It is OK to go out and talk over coffee!

12. Understand that you may have the gift of singleness for this season of your life. So use your time, energy, and money to further God’s kingdom in the ways hes calling you to right now. (1 Cor 7:7)



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Sexy, can I? :: Dating

The Bible never addresses dating. Does this mean that dating is unbiblical? Does it mean we have the freedom to date however or whoever we want? Or should we dismiss dating altogether and retreat to a hyper-conservative model of courtship?

Curiously our culture has influenced and shaped our views on relationship and marriage far more then the Bible has. It is tough to find a magazine without “7 steps to please your man” or “4 ways to drive her wild” littered on the cover. It seems that almost every magazine on the rack (with the exception of Home and Garden) is geared towards guiding men and women through their relational and sexual experiences. As a result our culture is filled with a hook-up and break-up mentality. The style of dating is no more then a series of short-term relationships with selfish intent.

How do we have gospel-centered relationships? We need to be smart with how we go about pursing dating relationships. This means seeking a biblical framework.

On Sunday we’ll be discussing what it looks like to be in a gospel-centered relationship. We’ll examine the 3 context in which Christians are prone to date in- religion, irreligion, or gospel-centered.

Here are the questions VIers asked regarding dating. Note: these are actual, word-for-word questions submitted by students in VI.

  • How do I know if I’m pursuing a girl for the right reasons?
  • How do I know if the “issues” I see in someone are good reasons to hesitate or just somethings I should overlook?
  • How do I know if someone is “the one?”
  • How do I know if a guy is trustworthy?
  • What are somethings couples can do while dating to build their relationship and glorify God through it?
  • Should a girl ever pursue a guy?
  • Can I date someone who isn’t a Christian?


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Recap: Sexy, can I?

Here are the 11 things Chris Gonzalez shared with VI as part of his talk on sexuality.

  1. Your sexual sin at its root is an expression of your rebellion against God.
  2. Lie: 100% of guys masturbate.
  3. If you have not been saved by Jesus, you are enslaved to sin. If you have been saved by Jesus, you do NOT need to be enslaved to sexual sin.
  4. God created Men and Women differently. Men tend to be more visual and physical. Women tend to be more romantic and relational.
  5. Women, how should you dress? Don’t look for a rule. Instead, check where you are getting your identity from. Why do you dress the way you dress? To get attention? To fit in? These are gospel questions.
  6. “How far is too far?” is arguably the most religious question you can possibly ask.
  7. Oral sex is biblical… with you husband or wife.
  8. Behavior modification does not work. You have to get the “expulsive power of a greater affection.”
  9. Dudes, that girl you are  ing at/with is someone’s daughter. And the reason she is wearing that or doing that or dancing like that, or…is because some other dude (usually her dad or an ex) acted like a boy and treated her like a piece of meat. And now you are doing the same thing. Good job.
  10. The Greek word “porneia” is a junk drawer term for “sexual sin.” Quit being a pervert and trying to invent exceptions for yourself. Its still going in the junk drawer. (Driscoll)
  11. Ignoring and forgetting past sexual sin does not work. Trying to be really good to erase past sexual sin doesn’t work. Lk 7:36


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Don’t waste your sexuality

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Sexy, Can I?

This Sunday VI will be starting up a new series on sexuality and relationships. The first week we’ll be looking into what the Bible says about sexuality. During the following weeks we’ll be discussing dating and marriage.  Below are questions that young adults in VI have asked relating to sexuality.

  • How do I battle sexual temptation?

  • How do I keep my mind from wandering while walking on campus?
  • Is oral sex biblical?

  • What do I do about guilt from sexual sin?
  • Is masturbation wrong if it keeps me from sexually sinning with someone else?

  • What do I do about R-rated movies and music with lustful lyrics? What is line between engaging culture and protecting myself?
  • What is considered “being modest” with the way I dress?

  • Do male and females have sexual desires and temptations differ?

And my personal favorite…

  • How do I bring sexy back?

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The Cross

On Sunday we discussed how the life, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus all pointed to the Kingdom. Here are some of the notes from Sunday regarding Christ’s death.

Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, died by crucifixion. You can read the accounts of his death in Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, and John 19.

Crucifixion was so horrendous that a word was created to just describe it. Excruciating mean “from the cross.”


Before a person was crucified, they were scourged. Many would died from the scourging before even making it to the cross due the fact that it was so painful. The person being scourged would have his hands chained above his head in order to expose his back, butt, and legs. The executioner would then start whipping him with a cat’o nine tail which was made of several long, leather straps with metal balls, glass and metal hooks on the end.

The idea was to whip the back, butt and legs tenderizing and destroying the flesh and muscles making it look like raw, bloody ground meat. Every now and then a strap would whip across the front of the defendant, latching onto one of the ribs and ripping it completely out of the body. Victims would shout is agony, shake violently, and bleed heavily.

Crown of thorns
A crown of thorns was shoved onto Christ’s head making his hair and beard a drenched mess. Blood and sweat most likely ran into his eyes causing them to sting every time he attempted to open them.


Throughout the entire process our God was mocked and spat on. His beard was ripped right off of his face. This was the ultimate sign of disgrace in that day. This was all done in front of his friends and family.

Crossbar of the Cross
Roughly 100 pounds of unfinished, splintery wood was placed on Christ’s back to carry.  The beam was most likely recycled layered with blood from past crucifixions.Christ collapsed under the weight of the cross and Simon had to carry the beam the rest of the way.
7 inch, rough, metal nails were driven into his hands or wrists and feet, witch are the most sensitive nerve centers of the body, nailing him to the cross. To die by crucifixion would mean to die by asphyxiation. So while hanging on the cross, one would eventually die by not being able to breathe. Each breath would be tremendously painful, as they would have to pull themselves up for each breath.

This was all done in public places. If crucifixion happened today it would most likely be down long the side of streets and freeways, or in front of the mall so everyone could see. The worst, low life type of people would gather around those being crucified to mock, spit at, jeer and shame the person. The cross was usually set at eye level so that people walking by would see them face to face. Eventually, one being crucified, would loss all control of bodily function. A pool of blood, urine, waste, sweat, and tears would collected at the bottom of the cross.

Why did he die?

Romans 4:25 “He was delivered up for our trespasses”

Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 Corinthians 15:3 “Christ died for our sins”

1 Peter 3:18 “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God”

Galatians 3:13 “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us ”

The only way into the Kingdom of God is through the cross of Christ.


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